The spiritual relationship is the relationship you have with yourself. It is the foundation of all other relationships in your life. A healthy spiritual relationship with yourself will require you to be aware of your intentions and reactions to every experience within and outside of yourself. You will have to be honest and truthful with yourself and cultivate absolute integrity in virtue and ethics.
It is essential that you understand that the mind is a bundle of habits and traits that are self limiting and self destructive. By carefully observing your mind and emotions you can begin to impose your own self discipline and regulate your behaviour. Perhaps the most important spiritual discipline is to maintain silence. This is not just verbal silence but it also means to remain emotionally calm. When you discipline yourself to remain silent it will mean that you conciously choose to not allow yourself to become emotionally involved. Keep your view and opinions to yourself. If you think you have the right perspective then apply that knowledge to your own inner discipline. Learn to listen without reacting.
When you remain silent you automatically begin to listen. You listen to the intuitive guidance that is always there. Making decisions and taking action based on your intuitive wisdom you will begin to reconstruct the content of your beliefs and mental programming. Gradually you are able to liberate yourself from the self limiting thoughts like guilt, fear, doubt etc.
A liberated mind is able to be more present and mindful when interacting with others and you are able to love and accept yourself unconditionally.
Emotional maturity means you are aware of the walls and obstacles you have created within your own attitudes and thinking. These walls and obstacles are often created by fear, guilt, and shame. When you are aware of these walls, you can begin to dismantle them and create a more open and loving relationship with yourself.
Self-discipline means adhering to the spiritual values and ethics as a means of dismantling the walls and barriers within yourself that are self-limiting. When you consciously develop self-discipline, you are essentially saying to yourself, “I am worthy of living a life full of goodness with love and respect.” You are also deciding to put in the work to create a better life for yourself.
Everything outside of yourself is the means by which you express and interpret the relationship you have within yourself. The people you attract into your life, the experiences you have, and the things you create are all a reflection of your inner state. When you are in a healthy spiritual relationship with yourself, you are more likely to attract positive people and experiences into your life.
The mind, your emotions, this body and every living thing in creation including the unseen realm of physics are all created by the spontaneous force of the universal creative energy. Science agrees that energy is all pervading but they have not yet been able to identify the form. They only know that everything can be reduced to a pure energy that is unseen yet that same energy instantaneously recreates into another particle of matter. Yoga refers to the energy as Shakti and the creative manifestation of shakti is the prana shakti.
Our written language and spoken words are limited. We have created words to try and express our inner experience and describe what we have understood about ourselves. However, words can never truly capture the essence of our spiritual experience.
For example the word God is just a term, it is not something you can own or someone you can see. Within yourself you have been experiencing your own wisdom and intuition. Yet we continue to ignore the truth of our own wisdom and intuition in favour of the imaginary desires we create in our mind. There is no division or separation from god or the spiritual values and ethics you attribute to “God”
You must trust your inner experience and reject the beliefs and imaginary desires that you cling to thinking it is your better option. The mind only exists because you continue to repeat the same old patterns of thinking. Even if you follow what you think is your intuition and you find it was misguided it is only a matter of fine tuning your awareness and knowing the difference between intuition and desire.
You know instantly the difference between wet and dry. In exactly the same way you know what is right and what is not right. When you trust your intuition, wisdom prevails. Align yourself with the truth within and you will eventually know that there is only one source and you are that. There is no separation or division.
How to Develop a Healthy Spiritual Relationship
Here are some tips on how to develop a healthy spiritual relationship:
- Awareness: become aware of your thoughts and emotions. The first step to developing a healthy spiritual relationship is to become aware of your thoughts and emotions. What are you thinking about? How are you feeling? Once you are aware of your thoughts and emotions, you can begin to understand them and work with them.
- Compassion: you know there have been occasions when you have made mistakes and behaved inappropriately. It is the same for everyone else as well therefore be compassionate and understanding when those around you make their mistakes. Practice self-compassion. Be kind and understanding to yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings. Remember that you are human and you are doing the best you can.
- Nature: sit with nature, listen to the sounds of nature and breathe the purified air. Nature is a powerful source of healing and transformation. Spend time in nature to connect with the natural world and to experience the peace and serenity of nature.
- Meditate: meditation is a powerful tool for developing a healthy spiritual relationship. Meditation helps you to remain silent and still. In this way you become aware of the mind without getting involved emotionally with your thoughts. The mind will become calm and quiet so that your natural wisdom can reveal itself.
- Service: when you work let your work be an expression of your love and caring. When you work with a sincere desire to serve and love you do not feel fatigue or resentment. You feel fulfilled and grateful for the exchange. By service and loving the world you are also connecting with the divine.
Conclusion
The spiritual relationship is the most important relationship in your life. It is the foundation of all other relationships in your life. When you are in a healthy spiritual relationship with yourself, you are able to love and accept yourself unconditionally. You are also able to be more present and mindful in your interactions with others.
Swami Yogasagar